Columbus Business Daily

Have you ever got a letter like this from your management?

Dear employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management. Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SH.T (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SH.T it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SH.T, please bring to the attention of your Supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SH.T you can handle. Sincerely, The Management

Public Comments

1. bawhahaha.. that is hilarious.
2. LOL thats crazy!
3. that's so funny! I'm still laughing!
4. Holy crap that is hilarious!
5. ROFL IM STILL LMAO
6. lol, great. have a star you brilliant person.
7. Now this is what i call a joke..AWESOME!!!! star star star and 10 imaginary points that i'd give you if i could.
8. LMFAO!!! This is hilarious! I'm still laughing. Thanks, this made my day :) Star for you. Haven't heard a joke this good in a while. :)
9. Arise your Majesty you are the queen of the jokes in Yahoo land ha ha ha
10. OMFG..thats mad funny i never gotten a letter like that from my management (thank god xD) or ill be laughin my @$$ off!!! 10/10 for you and a star xP
11. HAHAHAHA thats so funny LOL
12. LOL! Very funny, & mostly likely true! Thanks for the laugh! Blessings!
13. Is this a joke?? Very funny
14. LMAO !
15. That's funny and original! Wow. Starred!